I once heard a pastor say that trust in a marriage is like having a dining room table filled with all the things each other has done in life that, if exposed to the world, could destroy either husband or wife. And then consciously deciding to leave it uncovered to each other every day! That is TRUST. Trust was the character that I didn’t know I was missing but needed the most…until I found it.
“I Trust you” is so much more powerful than “I love you”. In my lifetime, I’ve learned the hard way that you can love a person and not trust them at all!!! It took me some time, however, to learn that you cannot trust a person and not love them. That is not to say that love (although we use it so flippantly today) is without power. In fact, usually when we say love, what we really mean is attraction, infatuation, or lust. It takes a whole lot of living, and failing, and learning, to fully understand that, love without respect is a ticking time bomb that leads to all kinds of death. However; love, built on the foundation of respect and trust, can never be destroyed!
Today, I not only strive to be more trustworthy in my personal relationship but in all my other relationships as well. Each day, I pray for discernment so that I am more frequently in the company of those I can trust. So, in your pursuit of happiness, look for the one you can trust. And, your respect for that rare character, will lead you to the most beautiful love ever.🙏🏽
During reunions and other family gatherings my aunties often tell about the first time they heard me sing. It is always filled with lots of laughter and love because I was a few months old at the time! My sister-aunt (called that because we’re only seven years apart in age) tells how she was sent to my mother’s room for something and found me humming in my crib. In her excitement, she joined me but apparently I did not approve because I removed my pacifier and quipped, “you don’t know it”. We’ve never really gotten to the end of this telling because we’re usually all laughing so hard that the ending goes untold. I particularly love that piece of my history because it resonates strongly to me that my love for music began so early. My mom sometimes says that I was singing in utero! Again, another confirmation.
Music are I have had a tumultuous relationship. As a child I just knew that I would do music and nothing else… I just knew it! But, life took me a different way. I remember the moment I realized that, if I was to meet my responsibilities, I had to delay or possibly forfeit my dreams completely. I remember the piercing blow to my heart as if it was yesterday! For what seemed like days (it was more like hours) I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think, speak, eat, or sleep. I mourned music like I had lost a parent or sibling. But I knew that I had to put it aside and think of my children. Oh, I still sang in church and at community events, I still wrote and recorded the melodies I would hear in my spirit but, to me, my dream of being a musician was not just put on a back burner; it was sealed in a container of adulthood and self sacrifice and shoved to the back of the freezer!
I spent the next twenty years or there about coping and surviving. That is all I did!!! I went to school, was blessed with good jobs and the work ethics that facilitated promotions and career advancements. I still wrote and recorded periodically but, my fire for music laid dormant. The decision to leave music has been intertwined at the root of so much sorrow, heartache, and depression that I am still surprised that it took me so long to make the connection. I felt that something was missing, over the years, but I refused to think of music. So, I filled in the blank with everything but it. What did I fill it with? That’s a story for another day. Today, I am overjoyed because, a few months ago and by the leading of The Holy Spirit, I began to dig my buried treasure out of its frozen tomb. It is a process and I have learned that everything valuable in life can only be obtained and mastered through process. It is scary but exciting: exciting because I have been getting glimpses of my true self and scary because I’ve getting glimpses of my true self! :). It is like free falling with no security net; both exhilarating and terrifying! My saving grace is that I know and am building a personal relationship with Jehovah God, my maker. I know that He is not only with me but for me!
I was created with and for a specific purpose! This is an epiphany that has been long in the making but, today, I can say without any doubt or uncertainty that I am a child of the Most High Jehovah God and that He created me for Him! My mission now is to continue to “work out my own soul’s salvation with fear and trembling” even as I focus on the purposes of my life that will complete my destiny! As I continue to mature in Christ and in life, I am learning that the pursuit of my destiny is what fuels my honest relationship with God through Christ Jesus and by The Holy Spirit!
This site is my living journal…a dynamic record of my life’s journey. Good, bad, or indifferent, I’ll document my experiences in a variety of artistic mediums. You’re welcome to tag along and I pray that something you see, hear, or experience here will lead you to the lover of our souls. Jehovah is His Name! Be blessed.
Sister Joyce Meyers teaches that it is our natural tendency to wake up each morning and expect everything to be perfect in our world…including ourselves. But, “In reality, only God is perfect and the rest of us are under construction.” I needed this reminder this morning; thank you Holy Spirit!
So, today I vow to focus on God’s perfection even as I yield myself to His construction of me. Today, I accept that I am a work in progress. I am hopeful though, because I remember also that “He who’s began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it!” Jehovah is faithful!